Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Job Hunt


Published by Clark Kant, Publisher and Editor In Chief

Job Hunt by Clark Kant

My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.


Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

   

Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it... couldn't cut the mustard.


My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.


I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.


Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.


I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.


So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.


After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.


SO, I TRIED Retirement AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE Job!!!!!!!

So what job are you perfect for?

Clark Kant
Publisher and Editor In Chief
http://www.bergerbaloneywithmayo.blogspot.com/
http://www.hermannhearsay.blogspot.com/
http://www.hermannhookups.blogspot.com/

Performance Metrics:
Total # of free subscribers: 000017
Subscribers currently online: 000009
New visitors currently online: 000006

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Friday, April 16, 2010

Jimmy Oldsun Promoted and Given Additional Responsibilities at Hermann Hearsay

Published by Clark Kant, Publisher and Editor In Chief

Jimmy Oldsun has been promoted to Editor of 'Hermann Hearsay'.  I will be handling all duties here at 'Berger Baloney With Mayo' for the time beingWe had initially considered turning over the start-up responsibilities for this site to Jimmy, but we ultimately decided to promote him at 'Hermann Hearsay' instead.  Jimmy will do a great job for the people of Hermann.

For the full story on Jimmy's promotion, click on the following link:

http://hermannhearsay.blogspot.com/2010/04/jimmy-oldsun-promoted-and-given

Clark Kant
Publisher and Editor In Chief
http://www.bergerbaloneywithmayo.blogspot.com/
http://www.hermannhearsay.blogspot.com/
http://www.hermannhookups.blogspot.com/


Total # of free subscribers: 000007
Subscribers currently online: 000009
New visitors currently online: 000006

Reciprocal websites:

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Berger, Missouri

Published by Jimmy Oldsun, Candidate for Editor

Welcome to 'Berger Baloney With Mayo', a new daily online news website which is part of the Truman T. Tiger News Network (TTTNN).  I'm a reporter for 'Hermann Hearsay' and am being considered for a position as editor of 'Berger Baloney With Mayo'.

I am pleased as punch to help start-up this new daily online news service in Berger, MO.  I thought I would begin with some information about Berger.

Berger, Missouri

Berger is a small town in Franklin County, Missouri, United States south of the Missouri River. The population was 206 at the 2000 census. The first settlement in Berger was in 1818.

Berger is home to Bias Vineyards-Gruhlke's Microbrewery, and Bias Vineyards. It is within the Hermann American Viticultural Area, recognized in 1983 as a distinct wine region by the federal government. The seven wineries in the AVA produce one-third of the annual state total of wine.

Origin of Name

The town is probably named after Joseph Berger, a hunter, or Pierre Berger, a St. Louis, Missouri merchant who died in 1787. Located on a railroad line, the town was also known as Berger Station. Franklin County was also home to a Berger Settlement, which was abandoned. Nearby streams were called Big Berger Creek and Little Berger Creek.

The town name is pronounced with a soft 'g' because of its French roots.

Geography

Berger is located at 38°40′29″N 91°20′17″W / 38.67472°N 91.33806°W / 38.67472; -91.33806 (38.674677, -91.338166)[3].

According to the United States Census Bureau, the city has a total area of 0.3 square miles (0.8 km²), all of it land.

The rural town is located on the Berger Bottom, a floodplain south of the Missouri River.

Demographics

As of the census[1] of 2000, there were 206 people, 85 households, and 56 families residing in the city. The population density was 686.7 people per square mile (265.1/km²). There were 100 housing units at an average density of 333.4/sq mi (128.7/km²). The racial makeup of the city was 97.57% White, 0.49% African American, 0.49% Asian, and 1.46% from two or more races.

There were 85 households out of which 25.9% had children under the age of 18 living with them, 55.3% were married couples living together, 9.4% had a female householder with no husband present, and 34.1% were non-families. 31.8% of all households were made up of individuals and 18.8% had someone living alone who was 65 years of age or older. The average household size was 2.42 and the average family size was 3.09.

In the city the population was spread out with 25.7% under the age of 18, 7.3% from 18 to 24, 24.8% from 25 to 44, 23.3% from 45 to 64, and 18.9% who were 65 years of age or older. The median age was 41 years. For every 100 females there were 96.2 males. For every 100 females age 18 and over, there were 91.3 males.

The median income for a household in the city was $32,083, and the median income for a family was $42,188. Males had a median income of $31,406 versus $21,667 for females. The per capita income for the city was $18,460. About 3.5% of families and 5.8% of the population were below the poverty line, including none of those under the age of eighteen and 17.4% of those sixty five or over.

Other Interesting Facts

Clark Kant, Editor In Chief of Hermann Hearsay, was married at St. John's United Church of Christ of Berger in 1974.

References

  1. ^ a b "American FactFinder". United States Census Bureau. http://factfinder.census.gov. Retrieved 2008-01-31.
  2. ^ "US Board on Geographic Names". United States Geological Survey. 2007-10-25. http://geonames.usgs.gov. Retrieved 2008-01-31.
  3. ^ "US Gazetteer files: 2000 and 1990". United States Census Bureau. 2005-05-03. http://www.census.gov/geo/www/gazetteer/gazette.html. Retrieved 2008-01-31.
Jimmy Oldsun
Candidate for Editor of 'Berger Baloney With Mayo'
www.BergerBaloneyWithMayo.blogspot.com

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Berger Baloney With Mayo Start-up!

Published by Truman T. Tiger, Owner and Publisher of the Truman T. Tiger News Network

We have been looking into new markets for our daily online news service.  Our flagship website, www.HermannHearsay.blogspot.com, has gotten off to a great start!  We are now approaching 300 online subscribers at Hermann Hearsay.

Today we finalized our decision to enter the Berger and Little Berger news market.  We are proud to announce the opening of our new website, www.BergerBaloneyWithMayo.blogspot.com.

For the time being, Clark Kant, our editor at Hermann Hearsay, will be responsible for starting up our new venture.  There's a possibility that we'll promote Jimmy Oldsun, one of our bright and shining young reporters at Hermann Hearsay, to take over the new Berger website.  But we first want to make sure that Jimmy can control his womanizing and drinking problems.

Either way, we hope you enjoy our new news service, Berger Baloney With Mayo.

Truman T. Tiger
Owner and Publisher of  TTTNN
www.HermannHearsay.blogspot.com
www.BergerBaloneyWithMayo.blogspot.com

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